You

It’s the fourth day since you last had a proper meal.
Well, if one can say that a bite of biscuit a day, or maybe some pieces of pineapple tart a day, or one cup of cappuccino in the mornings is a meal, you are still normal, and that you still had your proper meal these days.
But these are not proper meal, definitely.
You know human body needs more than that. But not having that just does not bother you.
You know exactly, it all was not because one of your friends told you getting fluffier (fatter to be exact, you know that).
And you also know exactly, it all was not because that you are not in the mood for eating.
Moreover, you know that you need to eat. It is just that you do not know what to have, since you think they were all just boring.

You blame the world for this.
You blame your busy schedule that you didn’t have time even to eat.
You blame your need of sleep that you didn’t even get a chance to eat a proper meal (it was not the fourth time you told yourself that you need sleep more than meal).
You blame your so-full-of-things-to-do friends because they had lots of other things to do than just forcing you to have your meal (but it is not that you want other to force you eating anyway).
You blame your life to be oh-so-fucking-boring.

Nevertheless, you are just the same like you used to be.
You walked into your friends with a face full of smile. You talked and joked with your friends. You could even work and smile just like the usual you.
Maybe some of your friends noticed; how your smile was brighter, how you talked faster, and how you laughed louder these days. Maybe some of your friends noticed; how you loved sitting in your room and avoiding them during meal time.
No one asked anything.
You pretend you are fine. Yet you know that you are fine.

What’s the use of a proper meal anyway if you can still live without it?
What’s the use of proper meals anyway?

You are still you. Well, maybe just a lack of something to digest by your digestive system; but that’s all and you are just still fine.
Well, one time you were quite afraid that your digestive system might gaining wrong source of energy, taking protein available in your body (in your muscles) instead of just fat. That was yesterday when you faced yourself in front of a proper meal you didn’t even remember when was the last time you had.
You felt sick.
Immediately you pushed that plate aside, and you resigned yourself from the dining table. You noticed how your friends looked at you; you could not tell what the look was that in their eyes. So you just laughed and told them you had a stomachache; that you would eat later.
Then you left.
You pretend you didn’t hear they talked about you; you pretend you didn’t understand what they talked about you behind.
You just don’t care.

Life is just so fucking boring.